13 Raw and Really Funny Everyday Thoughts from a Twin Mom

Ask any Mom or Dad and they will tell you that parenting is the most rewarding and exhausting thing they’ve ever under taken.  Now imagine twice the number of diaper changes, two different personalities and a house packed with baby gear (times two) and that might give you some indication of what my day is like.  I’m not complaining, of course.  I love being a mom, and being a mom to twins is doubly wonderful.  Throughout the day, I find myself in some very unique and funny situations and I bet that other twin moms have often pondered some of these philosophical queries themselves.

  1. After watching Twin A steal the pacifier from Twin B and stick it in her mouth I wonder, “was it even worth purchasing those $20 (x 2) personalized pacifier leashes to differentiate one from the other?”
  2. After taking the babies out of their high chairs, and pieces of scrambled egg fall on the floor, the dog looks at me with pleading eyes. I think, “who am I to say ‘no’ to offered clean-up help, right?”
  3. “Do I pick up the crying baby first?  Or do I reward and pick up the one who is playing peacefully?  Or to be fair, should I alternate?”  (Answer to my curious readers: It’s usually the squeaky wheel that gets the grease).
  4. “I don’t think people will know that I’m wearing my PJ’s when we head to the grocery store.  And what are pajama’s anyways, except a thin track pant with floral print, right?”
  5. “Please don’t cry!  Please don’t cry!  Please don’t cry!” while I sneak out of the playroom to make myself a quick coffee.
  6. “The Wiggles is an educational show so is it considered detrimental or positive to their mental development if I keep it on all day?”
  7. “If I hear one more high pitched cartoon character’s voice on the TV, I am going to scream!  Now, where did I hide that damn TV remote?”
  8. “Please don’t cry!  Please don’t cry!  Please don’t cry!” while I sneak out of the playroom to use the bathroom.
  9. “Will I be able to tiptoe ever so quietly past the sleeping baby’s crib to get to the crying baby on the other side of the room without waking the sleeping baby?”
  10. “Does it really make sense to have two different spoons in this one bowl of oatmeal? I mean what are we really trying to accomplish here?  They have just spent all morning swapping toys in and out of their mouths.”
  11. Debating whether to head to the mall or not is another interesting monologue that I have with myself daily.   “Pack the diaper bag with formula, bottles, wipes, diapers and spit up rags. Fight with two wiggly babies to pin them down long enough to change their diapers and outfits. Run upstairs to brush my own teeth and throw on jeans. Strap in two babies into car seats. Shuffle my way with those car seats (both at the same time) through the tight laundry room and into the garage. Fold up the stroller and put it in the trunk. 50% chance of one of the babies fussing on the way to the mall. Arrive at the mall for a 20 mins stroll before it’s time to get them home, undressed and into high chairs for lunch. Ok….looks like we won’t be going anywhere today”.
  12. “My arms have never looked more toned. I wonder how much longer I’ll be able to hold both babies at the same time like this.”
  13. “Is the diaper pail full AGAIN?”

Every day of twin parenting is a complete poop-show (don’t mind the pun) and incredibly hard, but so incredibly worth it.  I’m rewarded with double the love, double the laughs, giggles and cuddles.  There couldn’t be anything better and I couldn’t imagine anything different.

Thank you, my darlings, for making every day interesting and unpredictable.

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